Author: Bev Garside

Transformation rarely arrives with fanfare. Sometimes, it begins in silence. How quiet, discomfort and trust can open the door to real, lasting change in charity leadership.

There’s a moment in every consultancy journey, often unspoken, always unnerving, where you feel the tumbleweed start to roll. The room goes quiet. Eyes look down. Something unravels. And you, as the facilitator, must decide: Do I fill the silence? or Do I hold it?

I’ve learned, after almost 25 years working in and with the voluntary sector, that the most powerful transformations often emerge from that silence. But only if we’re brave enough to wait.

The risk and the reward

I was once working with a national infrastructure organisation, one with multiple local branches and trustee boards, many of whom had been in post a long time. We were running a two-day development session for trustees. The morning had gone well: interactive, positive, and packed with reminders about their responsibilities and the boundaries of their roles. Everyone seemed on board, engaged even.

But the afternoon was different.

Ahead of the session, we’d surveyed the chief officers of each branch. What we received wasn’t a neat list of feedback points, it was raw, emotional and deeply frustrated. It read like a therapy session. Comments about outdated mindsets, micromanagement and resistance to change poured out. I asked the client whether we should soften the feedback. She paused, then asked what I thought.

“We should go with it,” I said. “Let’s hold the space. Let’s see what happens.”

So, after lunch, with energy still high, I passed the trustees a carefully anonymised set of comments from the chief officers. Then I stepped back.

And silence fell.

The art of not intervening

This is the work, I thought. Not the neat slides or the confident facilitation. It’s this: the choice not to rescue people from discomfort. Not to dilute the truth. Not to make it easier than it needs to be.

Eventually, papers were set down. Eyes lifted. One trustee cleared his throat.

“We know what we should be doing,” he said. “Clearly, we’re not doing it.”

That sentence changed everything.

What followed was one of the most open, honest and productive conversations I’ve ever witnessed between board members. They owned the critique, reflected on where it applied, and began building strategies for change.

By that evening, they were lining up for the quiz night we’d planned. Their engagement hadn’t withered, it had deepened. Because we’d trusted them with the truth. And they’d risen to it.

Creating space is an act of leadership

Holding space is not passive. It is not doing nothing. It is an intentional act of leadership. It says: I believe in your ability to reflect, to take responsibility, to grow.

Of course, it comes with risk. Not every room will respond like this one did. But if we want true culture change in our charities and boards, we have to be willing to hold the awkward pauses. We have to let discomfort surface. And then we have to walk people through it—with clarity, care and conviction.

That’s where transformation happens. Not in the noise, but in the quiet courage of what follows.

The Female Alchemist works with boards, founders and leadership teams to help charities evolve with purpose. Whether you’re managing change, addressing legacy tensions, or simply unsure how to move forward, I bring clarity, calm—and just the right amount of challenge, to help you create space for something better.

If your organisation is ready to hold space for honest change, let’s talk.

Founder Syndrome is the paradox at the heart of many charitable organisations, where the same passion that inspires creation can later block evolution.

There is something deeply magical about the energy of a founder. That raw passion, that fire that gets things done. Founders are often the kind of people who refuse to wait for permission, they see a need, they act, and before long, something meaningful exists in the world that didn’t before. That’s alchemy.

But like many powerful forces, this passion has a shadow side. It’s called Founder Syndrome.

Founder Syndrome is a paradox: the very drive and vision that birth a charity can eventually hinder its growth. I’ve encountered it time and again in my work, dedicated individuals who have poured themselves into building something extraordinary yet struggle to let it evolve beyond their original vision.

When legacy blocks leadership

There’s one story I often return to. Years ago, I was asked to support a charity where a husband-and-wife founding team believed their Operations Manager wasn’t performing well. As we delved in, a pattern emerged. This wasn’t their first “failing” operations lead, it was their fourth.

The common thread? A deeply capable staff member being systematically disempowered. Every attempt to innovate or adapt was seen as a threat to the founders’ control. Despite having grown a brilliant team and securing strong partnerships and funding, the founders’ localised, outdated perspective kept tripping up the charity’s evolution.

We brought the full board and staff team together in a facilitated session. Something transformational happened. Board members and staff sat side by side, offering each other affirmations, recognising strengths, seeing each other not as opposing forces but as collaborators. The dynamic shifted.

One of the founders didn’t attend the session. The other did, and when it came time to share a simple positive reflection about the Operations Manager, he just couldn’t do it. After three attempts, starting with “I hope she now realises…” or “I think she’ll understand…”, it was clear: this wasn’t about performance. It was about power.

The silence that followed said more than any facilitated activity ever could.

From power to legacy

Founder syndrome isn’t a character flaw. It’s a natural outcome of emotional investment, of building something so close to the heart that it feels like a child. But the healthiest legacy a founder can leave isn’t control, it’s space. Space for the right people with the right skills to lead, grow, and protect the mission.

Dame Stephanie Shirley, an extraordinary tech entrepreneur, once described her own journey this way: she saw her company as her child, but knew when it was time to let someone else raise it. That clarity, that humility, is rare. But it’s what ensures the survival of what we love.

Dancing, not wrestling

When working with a founder who’s at a similar crossroads my approach is not to wrestle, but to dance. To walk alongside. To understand the emotional ties that bind them to the organisation. And, gently, to guide them towards a new role, one that honours their contribution while letting others flourish.

Because when done well, transitioning out of Founder Syndrome isn’t about stepping down. It’s about stepping aside with grace. About shaping a legacy that lasts.

And isn’t that the real alchemy?

Change is rarely easy—but it can be transformative. The Female Alchemist brings clarity, compassion, and over two decades of sector insight to help charities evolve without losing their soul. Because meaningful change isn’t about control—it’s about the courage to let go and the wisdom to grow.

If your organisation is standing at a crossroads, let’s explore how change can become your next chapter—not your undoing. Get in touch.

A true-life adventure that saw Bev leading a campaign to return captive dolphins to the wild.

In the 1970s there were thirty dolphin shows in the UK. By 1989 there were three. Today there are none. In this blog we detail how Bev was involved in closing two of such shows and how their three dolphin captives were given the chance of freedom.

In June 1989, a young Bev visits Morecambe Marineland, Lancashire. Instead of enjoying her visit, she is distressed to learn of the solitary dolphin that spent his life alone in the barren concrete pool that was his home. Rocky had been captured from the wild and snatched away from his dolphin pod and brought to the world of the marine circus. There he was trained to do tricks and entertain crowds.

The water of the aquarium was not living water like the sea, instead, Rocky lived in a lifeless world and Bev was determined to end his misery. She handed a petition to Morcambe council, signed by 4000 people and lead a peaceful picketing campaign.

In a speech Bev states, “We firmly believe that if Rocky isn’t taken from his existing surroundings and placed in a more humane and natural environment…this concrete box which has been his ‘home’ will become his grave.”

To garner support, Bev contacted Zoo Check (part of the Born Free Foundation) to see if they could help. Together with other animal welfare organisations, they set up a rescue project for dolphins called “Into the Blue”. Alongside this, a celebrity driven publicity campaign and a high profile appeal from The Mail on Sunday raised £100,000 towards the rescue.

By January 1991, after weeks of planning and deliberation, the time came for Rocky to be lifted out of his concrete prison and taken to another pool with other dolphins. This rescue was undertaken by expert vets and a team of experienced dolphin handlers. Little did Rocky know that he was being transferred by his rescuers to the clear blue waters and wide-open ocean of a little island in the West Indies called Providenciales.

The journey brought him by aeroplane over 5000 miles to a safe haven where he could learn to live again as a wild dolphin. During this 26-hour journey, Rocky was constantly monitored by vet Dr Richard Kock. He was eventually released into the lagoon that acted as a ‘halfway house’ where Rocky learned how to live as a wild dolphin again, catching and eating live fish.

Here, his rescuers prepared him for his eventual return to the open sea.

The weeks that followed saw several additional rescue dolphins being introduced to the lagoon with Rocky thanks to the hard work and activism of the Into the Blue team. When the time was right, a further five months later, the three dolphins were introduced to an ocean pen, 12 miles out to sea. Soon enough the gate of the ocean pen had been removed and nothing stood between the dolphins and the open sea. It was not a decision that was taken lightly due to the considered risk however; after consulting the vets and handlers it is agreed to be the final step.

After a few days returning to and from their rescuers’ boat, the three dolphins finally swam away into the endless blue of the ocean to embark on their new lives, wild at sea.

Since their release, the dolphins have been seen over 50 times, either alone, in pairs or all together. The Into the Blue project is no longer needed as thankfully, there are no more captive dolphins in the UK. But the story of Rocky, Missy and Silver has inspired groups all over the world to campaign for a day where the only place dolphins will live, is in the wild.

Bev continues to be an environmental activist and long-time vegan, dedicating herself to protection of the natural world and the beings that reside in it.